December Musings

When I sat down to write this, all I could think about was Diana Ross & The Supremes belting out “trapped in a world that’s a distorted reality”, because  I thought that I hadn’t really achieved anything this year and had diddly squat to write about. But on reflection, this isn’t true.

Admittedly, it has been a bit of a funny year. Like everyone, I’ve had some personal struggles and I don’t think the washout of the summer has helped anyone’s mental health. It certainly prevented me from getting out and about and enjoying nature. In the grand scheme of things, this is frankly nothing compared to farmers facing crop failures, and people suffering flooding in their homes and businesses.

But I feel like my few less than inspiring encounters this year are still worth a mention; if nothing else, we can try laughing about it all together now: I found half a partially devoured shrew and LOTS of badger poo in the garden. In spring, I got up close and personal with some plants on the floor of a polytunnel (I fell over), and lost an argument with some thorns. Not to mention the time I tried investigating a commotion coming from a host (or ubiquity) of sparrows, only to get a seed or berry in my eye! Thus rendered temporarily blind, I promptly ended up walking into another bramble, much to the mirth of my brother. 

Then there’s the fact that I’ve been nothing short of a banquet to horseflies and other biters! Probably a good job I didn’t get around to sleeping in the garden overnight this year! I did manage about 20 minutes dozing in my hammock, but this also ended with some baby robins pooing on it. Nobody could be cross at them, though!

Despite all that, however, there’s plenty of great things to reflect on, such as getting a chance to ride my friend’s trusty steed again—I try to help her out weekly, but being a carer means it’s not always possible… When I do, though, I savour every moment. It’s so much more than just strolling/plodding along the road, chatting to both my friend and the horses. I love taking in the wildflowers caressing the roadside, and the abundance of butterflies, bees, and other pollinators. I was lucky enough to glimpse a beautiful demoiselle, not to mention some wrens & red kites! My favourite moment was coming face-to-face, well almost nose-to-beak, with a young buzzard. We maintained eye contact for a short while before he flew away. 

I’ve also studied and passed a few courses this year (Understanding Autism, Information, Advice and Guidance, and Understanding Children and Young Persons’ Mental Health)

I really enjoy studying, but with my care responsibilities and everything else going on I found it hard to fit it in. My autistic side loves learning all the details, and when my ADHD aligns and I’m in hyperfocus, it works really well. Though my ADHD isn’t always in harmony, it really does depend on what catches my interest that day, as well as on my energy levels, and the distractions in my environment. Last minute panics before deadlines are not uncommon—I try to avoid this but often can’t help myself! But I got some lovely feedback from my tutor, which really made me glow.

I’m now studying a Level 3 course, Neurodiversity and Inclusion, and am absolutely loving it. I do get frustrated with (but am also enjoying) the Christmas preparations that are taking me away from studying. But how can you be miserable when you’re decorating biscuits, making wreaths or getting all cosy in the lounge to write cards?

I’ve had a bit of a go at DIY alongside my crafts too. I tried a little bit of plastering under the supervision of a professional, was allowed to paint the downstairs toilet—I’m normally told to stick to painting pictures, probably because I get impatient and like to rush in rather than preparing properly with masking tape… I’ve yet to undo my ADHD and dyspraxia related spillages! I even had a go at driving a dumper truck—that really was fun!

Alongside all that, I have launched my Boredom Busters autumn and winter challenges, and I am working on the spring and summer challenges for you. Even more exciting is the launch of my new website! As I write this, I’ve got less than a week to go!

Really, my head distorted reality; with a bit of rationalisation and reminiscing, it turns out that I had loads to write about. I might not have achieved everything I wanted this year, but I can also admit that’s mostly due to having unreasonably high expectations of myself (hello ADHD time blindness). So really, all in all, I’m proud of myself, and I’m proud of you for making it through another one too. Have you reflected on your year yet? I’d love to read any thoughts you might like to share…